Friday, February 13, 2009

Mickey Pig or Porky Mouse

Dateline February 12th 2009: "Pelosi's mouse slated for $30M slice of cheese"

As we anxiously await the full details of the latest economic "stimulus" (of which the Senators and Congressmen all agree they've not read the entire bill), one large piece of piggy pie was revealed in the following article:

"Talk about a pet project. A tiny mouse with the longtime backing of a political giant may soon reap the benefits of the economic-stimulus package.

Lawmakers and administration officials divulged Wednesday that the $789 billion economic stimulus bill being finalized behind closed doors in Congress includes $30 million for wetlands restoration that the Obama administration intends to spend in the San Francisco Bay Area to protect, among other things, the endangered salt marsh harvest mouse.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi represents the city of San Francisco and has previously championed preserving the mouse's habitat in the Bay Area.

The revelation immediately became a political football, as Republicans accused Democrats of reneging on a promise to keep so-called earmarks that fund lawmakers' favorite projects out of the legislation. Democrats, including Mrs. Pelosi, countered that the accusations were fabricated."

Don't get me wrong, I really like mice (they taste like chicken), and every mouse has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of mousy happiness. Remember Mr. Jangles from the Green Mile... he was one happy little vermin headed to the mousy circus in Florida. Nevermind the bubonic plague, nevermind chewed wires, nor nests in your ventilation system... these little critters are well worth $30mm in taxpayer funds.

Next we will pony up $40mm for the cats it will take to get the mice out of peoples $700K homes... then another $50mm for the animal control officers that we'll need to control the cats from taking over neighborhoods and eliminate their evening choirs (caterwauling). So we'll have to build animal control shelters, hire animal control officers, pay off PETA, etc... All in all Pelosi' mousy friends will cost us $100mm+, and no, there's no pork in this plan :)

I laugh so that I don't cry...

1 comment:

Kyle Kraft said...

I'm feeling a little mouse envy. Keep the news flowing bro, it's great!