In recent days, many folks have asked me "what is a BLOG". This is an excellent question, as I too have oft pondered the "what" pertaining to this mythical creature. So, after much research, study, extreme physical exertion, and meditation I've compiled the following informative dissertation on the "BLOG"(merely a preamble to a dissertation at this time).A Blog (pictured at right) was first found by forest dwelling Elven people in the year 1722 -1/2 A.D. Head Elf 'Enrique', on a food foraging mission, tripped over a dead blog. At first thinking it to be a rotting log, or large pile of animal excrement, but on closer examination found it to be a critter of sorts. As it turns out, the Blog closely resembles both a rotting log and large pile of animal excrement, hence the name; BLOG. This is the wordsmithed amalgamation of "Blech+Log=Blog", which later became known as a very vile curse word in Elven tongue.
Short of readily available tasty edibles, Enrique thought perhaps the Blog could be a keen substitute for the tasteless keebler crackers that were their dietary mainstay. However, they couldn't stomach the Blog taste raw so they tried pan frying, grilling, broiling, and boiling this critter to make more palatable, alas to no avail... Upon tasting the rancid mushy meaty flesh all the Elves could be heard evacuating their stomachs, and the sound was much akin to "BBBLLLOOOOGGGG".
Wisely, Enrique placed a mandatory moratorium on all Blog eating, and declared the part of the forest where the Blog was found to be a quarantined area (now known as Washington D.C.). Not much more is known about the Blog at this time, but as I find additional information I will dutifully post for your enlightenment! What I have found and can tell you is this: most Blogs are vile tasting critters, smell like rotting wood and animal excretment, hold virtually no nutritional value, and would be better off if never found. There are a few exceptions to this rule, and I will inform you of those exceptions in future posts.
Peace be with you...
Superluke
p.s. Props to Ciara for her artistic rendition of the Blog.
2 comments:
I thought I loved blogs, but after reading your explanation I'm not so sure. :) EWW. Oh... by the way, I would assume that purple smells like "the color 9" ;) Welcome to blogland baby cakes! I love you.
It's about time! Now your posterity will be able to document your descent to dementia and seize your assets... be careful, those kids looks pretty wily to me.
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