Adopt a Pet Program - Nasty Edition

Precious little grey kitten available for immediate adoption. Answers to the name of "bumugly" and "eeewwww go away", but you can name him whatever you wish. Bumugly does shed profusely and you may wish to lock him up during meal times, as he has been known to set off a gag reflex or two.

He eats free plastic McDonalds toys that come in Happy Meals(tm), and various noxious weeds from the back 40. You will need a 'hazmat' suit to clean the catbox as the very smell of his "litter" has caused strange pox to break out in the underarm and ankle areas.

Please reply to this post in the affirmative if you desire to give this fine specimen a happy home, we will throw in a small paper sack (used to cover his head in public), a rhinestone leash, and your first 'hazmat' suit.

Happy Birthday Cuba!

50 Years since our dear brother Fidel Castro became the Communist Dictator Thug (leader) of Red Cuba. Whoo Hoo! Hows that Communism working out for you all?

Perhaps it might be best understood by the number of your natives willing to drown in shark infested waters as they desperately try to reach the shores of "evil" America.

Will Raul do a better job that big brother Fidel? He gave the Happy Birthday speech a few days ago and spun such wonderful "obamaesque" fluff as the following: "Let's not kid ourselves by believing that from here on, it's all going to be easy. Maybe from here on, it's going to be more difficult,"...

Dude... how profound is that?

Have a wonderful paranoid birthday Cuba:)

Zune oh Zune

Familiar with the techno gadget pictured to the left? It is a "Zune" media player, Microsoft's answer to Apple's IPOD, you can watch movies, listen to music, play games, listen to the radio, look at your photo albums, listen to pod casts and audio books, shop for songs, and share music with friends. I've owned mine (Zune 30) since February 2006 and have used for many hours as I've drove, flown, spent time in a hotel room, worked, showered, etc... it has become an everyday type of item for me, much like a fork or eye patch (for those who need eye patches).

Having provided you with this brief explanation of what a Zune is, and how much it means to me, you'll understand my hearty chagrin this a.m. when I woke up to find my poor little Zune locked up on the logo screen. I pushed buttons, shook, cried, and tried to plug into my computer to magically "unlock" the poor little beastie. Alas to no avail. Jami was sympathetic and asked if I'd dropped it or something, and I said "no". She went to get hers so that I could look at it in fond memory of what mine used to look like when it worked, when she discovered that hers too was locked, so was Ciara's... (musical interlude) "Gloom, Despair, and agony on me, whoooaaa, deep dark depression, excessive misery, whhhhooooaaa, if it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all, whhhhoooaaa, gloom despair and agony on me." Sorry for the drama :(

I don't think this would have been such a calamity if i hadn't just lost my Zune a few days ago for almost 24 hours. We searched high and low, we dug through boxes of stuff that I didn't even know we owned. I almost pulled the engine from Jami's blazer because i thought maybe I'd dropped it in the engine compartment when i was changing oil. I did sift through the ashes in a fire barrel thinking perchance it'd come unclipped from my belt and fell in. OOohhhh the joy when i found it laying behind my tool box where a kindly kitty must have knocked it when jumping and running from my BB gun tirade. Annie Oakley I ain't! That or the kitty is durned quick.

So we've spent the day "Zune-less" wandering about like an ObamaZombie (one who realizes that words without actions are like a fire alarm in Hell) wondering what to do with ourselves. My brilliant wife finally went on-line this afternoon and found the following statement by those sadistic son's of a motherless goat from Microsoft:

"Early this morning we were alerted by our customers that there was a widespread issue affecting our 2006 model Zune 30GB devices (a large number of which are still actively being used). The technical team jumped on the problem immediately and isolated the issue: a bug in the internal clock driver related to the way the device handles a leap year. That being the case, the issue should be resolved over the next 24 hours as the time change moves to January 1, 2009. We expect the internal clock on the Zune 30GB devices will automatically reset tomorrow (noon, GMT). By tomorrow you should allow the battery to fully run out of power before the unit can restart successfully then simply ensure that your device is recharged, then turn it back on."

This event has been dubbed "Z2K"... tell me, how can 100 engineers at the world's most prestigious computer company all fail to account for leap year in the software that operates Zune? Yikes, darn glad they didn't program the autopilot software for the Space Shuttle, or something more meaningful to the world than a little bitty Zune. Come On Bill Gates, get em straightened out!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Superluke :)

Daddy's Little Girl

As I peruse my daughter's senior pictures this morning, I'm reminded that she is no longer a "little" girl. (This say I with a tear in my eye).

My little girl is growing up... when did this happen? Not long ago we were discussing the merits of veggie tales, and her little fingers were stretching to reach middle 'C'. Now we're discussing World Economics and her little fingers are stretching across the steering wheel. Every now and then she asks those questions that causes a parent to know that soon their first born will be (quasi) on her own... questions about: "rent, phone bills, tuition, insurance, etc."

We visited Fort Hays State University last Friday where she will begin full time classes next fall. The entire tour I had a lump in my throat and a feeling of bittersweet melancholy. Her institution of higher learning is very excited to get her bright little mind in their grip... Thank God she is well grounded! Ciara's mind is extremely sharp, and her judgement is a direct reflection of her faith. What a blessing she is to her mother and I. We cannot wait to hear of her first debate with a college professor about the origin of mankind:)

Thanks for letting me brag on my baby a bit... I cannot wait to see her salt and light impact this tasteless and dark world for the glory of God and the benefit of mankind. Tear em up sis your Daddy loves you!

Thanksgiving: "Turkey Hangover"

I love Turkey! Smoked, Baked, Broiled, Boiled, Fried, Barbequed, Soup, Scalded, or Blackened... I love Turkey. I've never quite figured out why we wait for a whole year at a time to eat this wonderful bird's succulent flesh. The day b/4 Thanksgiving, I smoked a Turkey breast with red wine and beer soaked Hickory Chips, it turned out quite wonderful. So all in all I've carved and consumed Turkey for 4 meals in a row (1 was breakfast this morning).

Slight headache, melancholy mood, protruding stomach, oohhhh I've got a Turkey hangover! I may need to go to bed and sleep this one off...

Give thanks with a grateful heart for all that God has given you this past year. I thank God that I'm walking upright with a very slight limp. Only a year ago I was seeing my leg at a 90 degree and endured 2 surgeries. Very happy to say I'm almost back to my kick boxing shape :).

Be Blessed my friends!

Faith

"To disbelieve is easy; to scoff is simple; to have faith is harder."- Louis L'Amour

Great vs. Mediocre

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices, but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence and fulfills the duty to express the results of his thought in clear form."

Albert Einstein, quoted in New York Times, March 19, 1940

Mediocre mindless lemmings all migrating toward the same cliff of miserable destruction, all the while violently railing against those that would chose to slip off their little lemming coats and don a lab jacket.

I encourage you to think and not blindly follow the masses toward ultimate demise. You may never be the deep thinker like ole' Albert was (or even uncle Morgan is), but exercise your gray matter with things weightier than mindless marshmallow fluff.

Peace out Posse

The Mythical "BLOG"

In recent days, many folks have asked me "what is a BLOG". This is an excellent question, as I too have oft pondered the "what" pertaining to this mythical creature. So, after much research, study, extreme physical exertion, and meditation I've compiled the following informative dissertation on the "BLOG"(merely a preamble to a dissertation at this time).

A Blog (pictured at right) was first found by forest dwelling Elven people in the year 1722 -1/2 A.D. Head Elf 'Enrique', on a food foraging mission, tripped over a dead blog. At first thinking it to be a rotting log, or large pile of animal excrement, but on closer examination found it to be a critter of sorts. As it turns out, the Blog closely resembles both a rotting log and large pile of animal excrement, hence the name; BLOG. This is the wordsmithed amalgamation of "Blech+Log=Blog", which later became known as a very vile curse word in Elven tongue.

Short of readily available tasty edibles, Enrique thought perhaps the Blog could be a keen substitute for the tasteless keebler crackers that were their dietary mainstay. However, they couldn't stomach the Blog taste raw so they tried pan frying, grilling, broiling, and boiling this critter to make more palatable, alas to no avail... Upon tasting the rancid mushy meaty flesh all the Elves could be heard evacuating their stomachs, and the sound was much akin to "BBBLLLOOOOGGGG".

Wisely, Enrique placed a mandatory moratorium on all Blog eating, and declared the part of the forest where the Blog was found to be a quarantined area (now known as Washington D.C.). Not much more is known about the Blog at this time, but as I find additional information I will dutifully post for your enlightenment! What I have found and can tell you is this: most Blogs are vile tasting critters, smell like rotting wood and animal excretment, hold virtually no nutritional value, and would be better off if never found. There are a few exceptions to this rule, and I will inform you of those exceptions in future posts.

Peace be with you...

Superluke

p.s. Props to Ciara for her artistic rendition of the Blog.